VOLUME 5 • ISSUE 1 • MARCH 2025

MINISTER’S MESSAGE
Overcoming Conflict With Others

BY REV. SHINGO FURUSAWA
HONPA HONGWANJI HAWAII BETSUIN

When seeing our community, society and in this world, countless fights and wars happen. No matter what organization we belong to, we will inevitably encounter people whose personalities and ways of think-ing differ from ours.

When we are with such people, conflicts and arguments are likely to arise.

Why do we come into conflict with others? It is because we all tend to be self-centered and to recognize others’ faults but not our own.

Here is an example: If you go to Japan, you will find that many houses are equipped with doors covered with paper which are called “shoji” doors.

One day, a person said, “My neighbor’s house has torn shoji screens, but they just leave them. They are sloppy.” He looked through a hole in the shoji screen of his own house and said so…

What do you think about this person? You may laugh at him, but if we criticize others’ faults without recognizing our own, we should not laugh at him. In this way, our self-centered mind makes us lenient with ourselves and harsh with others.

Unfortunately, we tend to be unaware of how self-centered we are, which often allows our self-centered mind to control us. If we are manipulated by it, each of us will say, “I am right! You are wrong!” and our relationship will be broken down. In order to avoid the conflict, we need to get through the mindset, but how can we do this?

Self-reflection through listening to the Buddha Dharma is necessary to ask ourselves, “Are my thoughts really right? Are my actions really right?”

Shinran Shonin, the founder of Shin Buddhism, made a remarkable statement, “I know nothing at all of good or evil (“Tannisho” or “A Record in Lament of Divergences.”)

When reading his works, we can know that he was a brilliant, intelligent man. However, through Amida Buddha’s Wisdom and Compassion, Shinran Shonin was aware that he was an imperfect person. He stated, “I am not a perfect person, so my view is also imperfect. I can never say that I am absolutely right.”

Through listening to the Buddha’s teachings, we also will be able to reflect on our imperfections, have shortcomings and can make mistakes.

You may feel uncomfortable if you are told that you are imperfect, but is there anyone who can say that they have never made a mistake in their life?

There are no such people, are there?

Therefore, when arguing or fighting with others, we need to be calm and ask ourselves, “Am I right?” In this way, it is very important for us to reflect on ourselves that we are not perfect, not to have conflicts with others.

The “Shinshu Pledge II” states:

“Revealing the Light of the Buddha and reflecting upon my imperfect self, I shall strive to live a life of gratitude.”

Those who are illuminated by Amida Buddha’s light will be able to be aware of their own imperfections, and they can live their lives to the fullest.

Because we are all imperfect, we must try our best to complement each other’s shortcomings and overcome conflicts.

In Gassho